Friday 30 September 2016

The Fast Markets Song

Friday's fun in financial scout camp started by looking in the bear story box and bringing out the old favourite of Deutsche Bank. Which promptly did what nearly every new disaster story has done this year,  it recovered.

Sunday's flappy panic is over Brexit's article 50 being triggered by end of March 2017. Quite why it's such a sudden disaster I am not quite sure, because there was as much chance of the UK not Brexiting as there is of Morgan Freeman ever playing the bad guy.

But it's all good news for the panicky news feeds that will be peddling UK doom. Do you remember the children's playground, fast food song? The one that starts 'A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut..' which was the basis for this..



Well, with a bit of tweaking, we can create the market commentary anthem.

The Fast Markets song:- 
(All together now!)

A Deutsche Bank (make a square in the air)
A Deutsche Bank
Brexit flappy panic (flap your arms like you're doing the headless chicken dance)
And a Deutsche Bank
A Deutsche Bank
A Deutsche Bank
Brexit flappy panic
And a Deutsche bank

Oil Prices! Oil Prices! (use two hands-make an "M" in the air, starting in the middle)
Brexit flappy panic
And a Deutsche bank
Oil Prices! Oil prices!
Brexit flappy panic
And a Deutsche bank

A China fix
A China fix
Italian banks
And a China fix
A China fix.
A China fix
Italian banks
And a Chinese fix

Greek bailouts! Greek bailouts!
Italian banks
and the ECB
Greek bailouts! Greek bailouts!
Italian banks
and the ECB

A hiking Fed
A hiking Fed
Falling productivity
and a hiking Fed
A hiking Fed
A hiking Fed.
Falling productivity
and a hiking Fed

High Yield! High Yield!
Falling productivity
And a hiking Fed
High Yield! High Yield!
Falling productivity
And a hiking Fed

A Donald Trump
A Donald Trump
A rising Right
And a Donald Trump
A Donald Trump
A Donald Trump
A rising Right
And a Donald Trump

A Putin! A Putin!
A rising Right
And a Donald Trump
A Putin! A Putin!
A rising right.
And a Donald Trump.

Risk Parity
Risk Parity
A massive spike in Vix
and risk parity
Risk Parity
Risk Parity
A massive spike in Vix
And risk parity

Stop losses! Stop losses!
A massive spike in Vix
And risk parity
Stop losses! Stop losses!
A massive spike in Vix
And risk parity

A rogue trader
A rogue trader
Whopping bank fine
And a rogue trader
A rogue trader
A rogue trader
Whopping bank fine
And a rogue trader

SEC ! SEC!
A whopping bank fine
And a rogue trader
SEC ! SEC!
A whopping bank fine
And a rogue trader

A BoJ
A BoJ
Failing Abenomics
And the JGBs
A BoJ
A BoJ
Failing Abenomics
And the JGBs

Gold Prices! Gold Prices!
Failing Abenomics
And the BoJ
Gold Prices! Gold Prices!
Failing Abenomics
And the BoJ

A CDS
A CDS
Spreads are widening
and a CDS
A CDS
A CDS
Spreads are widening
and a CDS

All Panic! All Panic!
I told you so
And I'm never wrong!
All Panic! All Panic!
I told you so
And I'm never wrong!

2 comments:

Robert in Chicago said...

OMG!!!! I have three very strong reactions:

(1) Of _course_ we don't remember that song, we aren't British. (Most of us. Although I actually do vaguely remember it.)

(2) Doesn't YUM play that song at the beginning of every earnings call?

(3) That song VERY strongly reminds me of the song indelibly linked with your old mate -- Vengabus. http://macro-man.blogspot.si/2011/09/and-winners-are.html

If I watch the videos for either of those two songs, I have an entirely different reaction: OMG, I am so old...

Polemic said...

Robert,
I though the song was as much an American kids/scouts thing as anything and spawned the UK one above
Most of the original types of fast foods in the Lyrics aren't known in the UK https://campsongs.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/a-pizza-hut/
That's a memory and a half to remember the Vengabus post. No Idea re YUM.

Old .. so am I.